"Hal, who is on the Field of Fire list again?"

"Let me analyze that for a second, sir. There's Ares, Athena, Pan, Mnesomyne, Hermes, Apollo, Artemis, Cupid, Eris, Iris, Zeus, Thanatos, Atlas, Kronos, Hercules, Zöe, and Aphrodite."
Hephaestus grabbed an iPad. "Okay, so let's see, each team will need two snipers, a second-in command, a runner, a scout, a CQC, a tank, and of course, a captain. The last two can be anything."
"Sir, you should have the contestants send in their classes."
"They have. Bring them up for me Hal."
A collection of holograms appeared of each person's classes.
"Okay, perfect!" Hephaestus arranged the teams until they looked
somewhat like this:

  1. Spartans
    1. Hephaestus
    2. Ares
    3. Apollo
    4. Cupid
    5. Hermes
    6. Pan
    7. Hercules
    8. Zeus
    9. Eris
  2. Trojans
    1. Athena
    2. Atlas
    3. Artemis
    4. Zöe
    5. Iris
    6. Mnesomyne
    7. Thanatos
    8. Kronos
    9. Aphrodite

Hephaestus stepped back, proud of himself. "Alright, we're done Hal. Now to the arcade lair. Play some Arcade Theme there."
"Which one, sir?"
"The one labeled under, "Thomas Ridgewell."
Hephaestus entered the arcade room where everyone was talking, socializing, eating pizza, and of course, playing video games.
Hephaestus grabbed the microphone and shouted,
"Ladies and gentlemen, let the Field of Fire Firefight begin!"
Every single player rushed toward the center, and other people toward the mini bleachers set up in front of it.
"Now is the time to place your bets on the winning team!"
Hephaestus listed out the teams, and people dropped money in Hephaestus's sombrero.
"Every player must take their seats and load your classes. The match will be starting in two minutes, where you may practice in the Pit run and adjust your headsets, hug your Teddy bear, go to the potty, and scratch out your dandruff. Then we will load our FoF map, then we jump into the firefight."
Aphrodite put on the last finishing touches of makeup. Ares borrowed some to make warrior stripes, and so did Hercules. Apollo practiced 360 no-scopes, and Artemis did the same.
"Okay everyone, the capture the flag match starts in ten seconds. Please let the scanner scan you before you go berserk."
Ten seconds later, they were digitally warped into each other's respective flag bases.
"Okay, everyone," Hephaestus said, "Athena's the other captain, and you know how smart she is. She'll try to hack into our comm links. We need codenames so we don't give away our positions and actions. Ares, you are Leonidas, and your team will be called as such. Apollo, Cupid, you are Gold Leader and Legolas. Hermes, you are Skyrunner, Hercules will be Emile, Pan is Smoker, Zeus is Hector, and Eris is DA for Double Agent. I am Master Chief or Huragok. Everybody got it?"
Everyone nodded their heads.
"Good. Leonidas, take Skyrunner and Smoker with you. Hide outside their flagbase and have Skyrunner run for it and cover him back. Repeat as necessary in different locations. Gold Leader, I need you outside the sniper tower on top of our base. Defend from anyone that comes in. Legolas will take the sniper tower near the other team's base to provide cover fire for Leonidas. Emile and Hector will defend. Emile, use your camo to blend in next to the flag and assassinate them when they got it. I'll be issuing orders and providing assistance wherever. Everyone understand?"
Everyone nodded grimly again.
Hephaestus broadcasted to everyone, "You now have sixty seconds to gather weapons and establish strategic points. Your custom weapons are also there. WEAPONS ARE ON SAFETY AT THIS TIME. DO NOT SHOOT AT ANYONE. Okay everyone, happy hunting!"
Meanwhile on the other side of the map...
"Okay everyone, there's the signal. Artemis, Zöe, take defensive positions at the two sniper towers flanking the base. Mnesomyne, run around the base and map and plant camera spikes and radar detectors everywhere. I want to see everything inside and out. Iris, go with Aphrodite and Thanatos for the flag. Cover her, both of you. Atlas, Kronos, you will be the other division heading toward the other team's flag. I will try to hack into their communication signals so we know what they're doing. Alright everyone, chop chop!"
Everyone rushed outside. Artemis and Zöe climbed to the sniper's nest and gave Athena the thumbs up.
"Now, let the firefight begin!" Hephaestus broadcasted.
Athena looked to her right and left and saw Zöe and Artemis get shot in the head.
"What the-! Dammit! Time to spring the trap!"
Near the Trojans' flagbase...
"Nice one Skyrunner!"
"Pleasure doing it Leonidas! Now let's go get that flag!"
The trio ran quickly into a building right outside the other team's base. Hermes and Ares entered first, but Pan lagged behind.
"Come on! They'll see you!"
"The snipers are shot down, we can stroll-"
An attack helicopter flew out of nowhere over the enemy building and tore Pan to shreds with machine gun fire.
Hermes totally lost it. "HOLY LEOPARD ON A LAMPOST!!"
But Ares still had his head cool. "Master Chief! Do you copy!?"
Hephaestus was aimlessly walking around another part of the map.
"I copy Leonidas! What's your status?"
"There is a freaking attack helicopter over their flagbase! We are pinned down in an adjacent apartment. What the hell do I do!?"
"Do you have any explosives?"
"Only two frags and some C4, but that won't do sh*t against the thing."
Hephaestus pondered this for a moment. "Okay, I have an idea, but only run in on my mark. When that thing explodes, there's gonna be shrapnel everywhere."
"What are you gonna do?"
"You'll see. That thing will be blown to kingdom come..."
At the Spartan flagbase...
Apollo scoped ahead to see if anyone was there. No one. He checked his camera spikes and his radar detector. Zilch.
"Where are they? I thought they'd try our base by now. Hector, Emile, do you you see anyone down there?"
"Negative, Gold Leader."
"Negative here to-the flag's effing gone!"
"What!? How I didn't sense anyo-"
Apollo saw the flicker of a camouflage system run away from the base.
And it had a flag with it.
"Sh*t! Emile, run after them. Get our flag back. I'll snipe him or her." Apollo turned on Adrenaline Mode. His whole screen turned yellowish and everything slowed down.
"Al-most-got-'em..." Apollo fired and got Iris in the head. Hercules ran for the flag, but Thanatos appeared out of nowhere and impaled his stomach with a scythe. (In the arcade room, it showed the kill. Enyo and about nine other people said it was the most badass thing they've ever seen. Even Apollo didn't fire again right after. More bets came to the Trojans after that.)
Meanwhile, Hephaestus seemed to be following a random series of turns while muttering to himself.
"So it was three blocks north, six west, and down this one alleyway..." Sixty seconds later, he arrived at a building with a plaque in the front that read, 'This noble tower is a sword, shield, and monument to and for all the sins of Humanity.'
"Bingo. Now just to take the flight of stairs."
After the stairs, Hephaestus flicked a switch and pulled a lever. A hatch at the roof started to open...
Team Leonidas wasn't going so well. Both Trojan snipers respawned, now pinning them down that way as well.
"Damn it, where the hell is Huragok and that support!? Master Chief, do you copy!?"
"Yes Leonidas, I read you."
"Where the hell is that support?!"
"It takes a while to fire-"
"Then fire it goddamnit!"
"Firing in three, two..." Then there was a pause.
Ares nearly lost it. "Okay what the fu-!?"
A sonic boom, a flash of grey, and an explosion rocked the sky as the supersonic metal slug impacted the helicopter.
Hephaestus's fuzzy voice yelled, "Mark, Leonidas!"
Ares and Hermes began to sprint through the disaster area. "Okay, fine! Kid, next time send me a warning before you pull a Tord Larsson and fire the effing Halo Onager over our heads!!"
Athena saw the blast in the sky and stared in disbelief. It looked as though a laser shot through the sky and cut through the helicopter. She didn't even notice Ares disable the mineturtle and Hermes run out with the flag.
"What in the name of drunk atheists happened!?"
After she recovered, a disabled Thanatos slugged in with the flag. "I got it, Captain."
Leonidas division sprinted into their flagbase and captured the flag.
Ares sent a message to Hephaestus, "We got the flag, Master Chief. Mission accomplished."
"Nice one. Everyone, it's been an hour. Game exit."
The whole map slowly disintegrated into black hexagons while a robotic male voice said, "Draw. Game. Over."
In the real arcade room...
Every player, after the game, left to wash their faces and resocialize. Every single other person watching screamed in protest.
"We want more!"
"Keep going, you stupid noobs!"
"Wait, it was a draw, so who gets the pot!?"
(Tyche, ever the lucky one, got the whole pot because she was the only one who betted on a draw. She won $421 that night in one sitting.)
At 1:00 AM, Hephaestus ended the party, and everyone went home on a sugar high, on crack, and/or slightly drunk. Everyone went home and updated their Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, and personal blogs with party details. Even the Field of Fire official website was playing Thanatos's badass kill. Hephaestus told Hal to operate the Roombas and then went to bed, and they all lived happily ever after.
Well, until the transfer students came.

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