Chapter One, The Only Chapter In This Short Story That's Meant To Amuse You.
It was a normal day, the sun was shining, the birds were singing.
I was on my way home from school.
I skipped along in my poofy skirt and Mary-Jane shoes, looking like a sl*t.
I saw a cute looking orange p*ssy cat.
I looked a lot like Wilfred Brimley, from the diabeetus ads.
"Oh, why hello there p*ssy cat." I held out my hand.
The p*ssy cat inched forwards.
I patted it's soft head.
It meowed and jumped up onto a pile of garbage cans.
It flew down and clawed my face off.
I was now dead and in The Fields Of Punishment.
They said I was there because I looked like a sl*t when I died.
I am now dead and this has not made any one laugh at all, has it?
The end. *Insert happy people here.*