Parodies of my old, discontinued badfics. C'mon, we've all written some. Sparrowsong 05:25, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
Don't Care - The Story of a *bleep*y, Whiny Sue!
Hello, my name is Sparklysandwich Elvira Darkness Stéphénié-Angélikah Isab'lla McPrincess. I have piercing aquamarine eyes, fair skin as pale as snow, and long violet hair that cascades all the way down my back.
Waa. My daddy had kids with 6 different girls, including my mommy. Then he married my meanie stepmommy who wasn't very nice to me! All she ever did was clean my room, help me with my homework, and hug me! My life is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo unfair! Feel sowwy for me!
I was wunning away from home when I saw a hot guy with platinum hair and a scar.
"Hey, hot guy, how are you?" I said.
"Fine, until you showed up," he replied.
"Waa," I whined. "I am a *bleep*. My daddy had kids with 6 different girls, including my mommy. Then he married my meanie stepmommy! Feel sorry for me!"
"Shut the *bleep* up and go get a life, *bleep*," he said.
I screamed and began to have a tantrum.
He took out a big scary sword that was one half bronze and one half steel and then he killed me oh I do so love run-ons don't you or do they annoy the heck out of you and show that you are reading a horrible story written by a stupid *bleep* kiddy with no imagination or whatever and you think I am an annoying Mary-Sue and oh hi my name is Sparklysandwich do you think I'm pretty who do I look more like Avril Lavigne or Amy Lee should I shut the *bleep* up now like that meanie said?
Dying Flowérs = The Story of a Gangsta! Doés Not Contain Any Racism Whatsoever!
Yo, wazzup, mah péépz? It's so not annoying when péoplé always put a fancy Frénch "é" instéad of a régular "E." Ah am Lady Daisy Ravyn Chickénpox Violétté Chocolatéfart Indiana Rénéé Pipér Priscilla Jéssica Simpson Laura Anniébéllé Hatréd Smith-Jonés. And I'm a gangsta!
If you gotta problém with dat, you'ré ah stupid *bleep*!
I'm a total gansta.
ZOMG ITZ A STORY DAT DEELS WITH SENSADIV ISSUES BUT ITZ NOT ONE WITTLE BIT OFFENSIVE!
I startéd doin' mah famous and awésomé kickass rap dancé. Man, ah wuz a good dansah.
"Yo, wazzup ma homéy, yo!" I rappéd. "I'm so cool, yo, yo, yo!"
"Lady Daisy Ravyn Chickénpox Violétté Chocolatéfart Indiana Rénéé Pipér Priscilla Jéssica Simpson Laura Anniébéllé Hatréd?" my dumbass dad calléd. "Shut up."
I wipéd my bright pink lipstick off my mouth and wént to béd.