Crackfic written whilst high on soda. Surprise POV! Sparrowsong 05:53, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
I was at God-Mart with George and Martha. I saw my granddaughters, Nikki (nine) and Taylor (thirteen) walk by.
"Hey, girls!" I exclaimed, waving and smiling at them.
"Hi, Grandpa," said Taylor.
"Hi, Grandpa," said Nikki.
Suddenly, Taylor stood up on the counter for the whole store to see.
"DOES ANYONE WANNA HAVE S*X?!" she shouted. "I AM AN ATTRACTIVE SINGLE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD FEMALE! I HAVE BLACK HAIR AND BLUE EYES! MY PHONE NUMBER IS *removed* AND MY E-MAIL ADDRESS IS TAYCASTELLAN@HOTMAIL.COM! DOES ANYONE WANNA HAVE S*X?!"
She just kept repeating that. Over, and over, and over.
I, along with most of the other shoppers, doubled over laughing. I laughed so hard, I couldn't breathe.
Then I phoned my favorite son to tell him that Nikki and Taylor snuck out and were now at God-Mart, and Taylor was becoming a prostitute.
He acted pissed that I called, but he came and picked up his children quickly enough.
They were my granddaughters, that was for sure.